New Year Resolution

Most New Year resolutions be like, losing weight or quit smoking. Others might be giving up sins like drinking or drugs or selling the children on eBay. Still others may decide to start something new, like trade internet classes, robbing banks, or basket weaving. 

Well, okay, maybe not something extreme as basket weaving, but we all want to start the new year with new hope, new ideas, or at least new drugs for a change. Let’s face it, the same old medical Mary Jane can be a drag, after some years, right?

 I have several resolutions this year, mostly age-related, and it starts with my next birthday. The number is classified of course but guess what. Next time we fly, I won’t have to take my shoes off. 

I’ll still have to pick up things I drop all the time, like pocket change and boarding passes, but won’t have to tie any more shoelaces. Prior to watching the two most famous physical therapists on YouTube, I couldn’t bend over for a fifty-cent piece. Now after watching those two for six months, I can’t pick up a silver dollar.

 I plan to get more exercise but I no longer have the Harley, so I bought a stationary bike for the home office. I look good on it, according to my wife, but she insists on replacing the Pringles can with a bottle of water. But to avoid un-necessary thirst, I don’t pedal.

She thinks that’s counter-productive. Seems to me the machine would last longer between service calls. After all, the Harley did.

Getting fit could leave me having a fit. First, I need running shoes. Then I gotta have a jogging suit, and then I want a headband, even though I’ll be struck by lightning before I ever work up a sweat. And that, in a nutshell, is why that silver dollar is still on the ground.

 I also resolve to be a nicer person in 2025, and that starts with being a better driver. But wait, you ask, haven’t I been driving over sixty years already? Well yes, I have, and as I get older, my reflexes get slower. It now takes an extra half-second just to give someone the finger, so imagine how slow I am to get off the gas. 

Being a nicer driver means I can be assertive without being aggressive. My Yukon XL weighs over 6000 pounds so I can hold my own in zipper traffic, but not if I’m picking a fight with a lift-kit pickup running bigger tires than I have. Sometimes ya just gotta know when to hold ‘em, and when to fold ‘em.

 One of my favorite trucking executives once shared a fascinating observation. Whenever you turn your head to the right, he said, your vehicle turns to the right as well. He was right, and that little bit of wisdom has stayed with me since 1997. Now when I converse with passengers, I keep my eyes on the road, and guess what? I can no longer make right turns.

He also told me, during that trip into the interior of Mexico, to increase the AC. I didn’t refuse, exactly, but explained how it would overload the filters, He didn’t respond but allowed me to focus on driving. Later in the evening, he took me to task about it, but also made arrangements for service help when we got back to Laredo well after midnight. Well, my primary resolution for this year is to practice that kind of leadership. Wish me luck!